Choices

Choices most often for me are hard. Whether we are talking about the menu at a restaurant, what to wear or what to watch. Anything is difficult. I am always afraid of making the wrong choice. Now, choosing steak over chicken is not actually the wrong choice it just might not be what I really wanted but since I could not decide what I really wanted until the wrong thing was chosen it was the wrong choice. But making a choice is incredibly freeing. I bought new accessories for the bathroom, not incredibly exciting but something fun to do, and I decided to paint the bathroom cabinet. And when I was able to narrow my choices down to one light and one dark and then, as of this moment, chose the dark it is kind of freeing. Like I really can do something. Why not paint the bathroom cabinet? I can make a choice. And whatever that choice is it is just paint. I can paint over it.. I tend to let others decide for me. I can narrow choices down but the final pick I have to get everyone's opinion. It is not that I cannot make the decision but I choose to make it more difficult but factoring in everyone's choice. Why I let others decide my life for me is beyond me and something that needs to be changed. I decided to go away and I am do so by myself. Kind of scared. This would be an example of letting others sway my opinion. I changed the final destination. But I am actually happy with the choice. Hopefully the few days of retreat will help to de-stress. I worry too much. Things that bother fester. I need to put it in a box and chuck it after. Living with these tiny petty annoyances only drag me down. The choice I choose is to live life lighter. Till next time.

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets, 1999