Email titled "URGENT NOTICE"

"You just got a $2.00 an hour raise! Good job and thank you.
Jack and Kim "

Now what do I do?

WTF 2

Devil child and I were on our nightly walk. (Wish it would be our morning ritual instead but... another story.) We are minding our own business, I was trying to reach my "zen" space where I wake up and cannot remember what I was thinking or how I got to what I was thinking I am just being after a day of doing and I see two girls, and I mean girls because they could not have been any older than 15 if even, walking down the center of a two way street. I see a third girl walking along on the sidewalk. As I am crossing the interesection with one girl walking towards me in the intersection and the other two still walking down the middle of the street I hear above the noise of my ipod, "We like your dog." I replay what I think I hear in my head and say, "Yeah, thanks." When the girl right next to me now says, "We weren't talking about the one on the leash." One girl walking in the middle of the street repeats that and the third girl says, "I already said that." I continue walking, am completely taken by surprise and replay what I think I heard as I turn around to see them again. The road has curved by now and they are gone. I reply with a quiet, mainly to myself, "What the fuck?"
Seriously? Did these girls just call me a dog? Who the fuck says these things to a complete strange who did nothing but walk a street in the opposite direction as they were going? I mean beautiful is in the eye of the beholder of course. I know I am not fantastic to look at but a dog? I think I may be a few notches above that.
Wow. High school. How amazingly awful it has become. And how thankful I am to be completely past it. I could not forget their comment for the rest of my walk. I still, more than three hours later, am basically obsessing over it. And it means nothing. It doesn't hurt. I don't know them and they don't know me. I will forget it in a few days. But... WTF? Till next time.

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. ~Maurice Chevalier

WTF

I stupidly just checked my work email and there was one new message since I left work tonight. Why in God's name do I have to be their babysitter? They live together. I think she can find the time to remind him herself.

"Hi *&^-
Will you please check and make sure #$(& has my doctors appointment on his calendar for Tuesday the 25th at 3:00. Thank you!
#!@

Sent from #!@'s iPhone"

Seriously?

Bathroom Conduct

Let me begin by saying I know this is ridiculous. There are bigger issues in life BUT this really, really and I mean REALLY pisses me off. I work in a building that has one business on the bottom floor and several on the second. We kind of take up the front 1/3 of the second floor. There are three bathrooms for our end of the building and we use two. We share it with one other office that only has one person. Female. Our office has me and two other people. One of those people is female but she is out of the office and has been for awhile. The other is male. Is there anything else that needs to be said? I suffered in silence but in the last year it has gotten worse. Linda, in the office down the hall, and I have discussed this issue more than once. She came up with the idea to make one a womens room and the other a mens room. Or maybe it was me. Not sure now. anyway... There are two bathrooms and they are right next to each other perpendicular to her office door.

I got fed up one day after having to replace the toilet paper roll again because someone obviously has no idea how to, after having to walk back to the office because someone does not know how to unlock the door when exiting the bathroom, after having to put the goddamn toilet seat backdown, after having to flush the toilet before I can use it and I made the signs. Nice. Big Clear. Pictures included so even the illiterate can understand the difference between pants and a dress. I even laminated them. Fancy, no? Linda and I put them up while he was out of the office. He got back while I was at lunch and went to use the bathroom probably for his 10th time that day and saw the new signs. Followed them that day but not the next when Linda was not at work.

And that became a pattern for the first two weeks. If she was there he would use the correct bathroom but if she was not there or I was not there he paid no attention to it. Also, oddly enough, he never said anything to me about it. Made a comment to her but not to me until his wife, the third person in our office, asked me if I did it.

Today I went to wash my hands after handling time cards and field invoices, (Which I do not understand these employees. I unfold papers and actual dirt falls on my desk. I get that they work with dirt but please. Keep it on the job.), and the bathroom was locked. I went back, got the key and Linda and I discussed the situation again. Later she emailed me to tell me she figured it. He never unlocked the door after his prior use and since he would never think to get the key proceeded to use the incorrect bathroom all morning. She got her key and unlocked his bathroom. We will see what happens tomorrow.

We feel that it is completely disrespectful that he continues to do this. I was trying to avoid the conversation that starts with, "Sorry your mother never taught you proper bathroom etiquitte and your wife obviously lacks in that department as well but..." He is my employer, I am the employee and that is not a conversation I feel comfortable having. I thought this would solve the problem. Obviously not. Maybe the conversation does need to happen. And soon.

Someone told me the secret to finding out if someone washed their hands after going to the bathroom is to ask them what color the soap is. Till next time.

The End

You know you have lost it when even you are bored reading back your blog entry. How sad is that? I never seem to have the time to write when I actually feel I have something worth saying. And when I do I have time to write I am blank. I can not recall the feelings to express the words enough that makes whatever I wanted to say worth saying. If I am truthful it comes down to not being interesting in life. Or interested in life. How do you write whether it is a birthday card message, a thank you note, a love letter or even a grocery list if you are not feeling something towards the words you are writing? Maybe repetition is the answer. I have heard that after doing something 21 times it becomes routine. Is that the answer? Maybe if I make it into a daily event and at the end of 12 months see if it pushed me anywhere into having some kind of answer for the meaning of my life. A friend told me recently that I have to move on. If I do not get another job soon after having this one for three years I will get stuck. And I do not want to get stuck. She also advised me to move out and live on my own. She only lived alone for six months before getting married and she still sees it as a great time in her life and made her feel independent and good. But what a waste to move just to move. If they are not kicking me out and I don't feel the desparate need to move why do it? There are times where I feel suffocated for staying but then I think life would be soo much harder if I was not here. And moving feels permanent like I am choosing to live here and stay forever. I envy people who can leave. But where would I go? Do I just place my finger on a map and wherever it lands I go? I am not exactly in a job where a move for my job would present itself. And I do mean job. This is not a career. I fell into it and can not see my way out. I have litttle enough respect left for my employer that I am not just going to quit and I have plenty of drive to make and save money that I would not just quit. So if I have lived 25+ years of my life without having to make something happen for myself how do I learn now?

FOOD

Fantastic. Homegrown tomatos have to be my most favorite thing to eat. Well maybe homegrown strawberries beat it. Very simple salad. Roughly cut tomatos, chopped basil, olive oil, balsamic, a little salt and pepper.

Pizza. Simple to make. Store bought whole wheat pizza dough, barbeque sauce, shredded chicken, yellow onions, chopped mushrooms and cheese. I could have done with the mushrooms. Next time.