Tomorrow is my birthday. I am feeling apprehensive about it. I am not old by any means but turning 26 is weighing heavily. What has changed in my life in the last year? Three years? Five years? Not anything enough to make turning another year older better.

"A birthday is just another 365 day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip."

-Anonymous

"The Trip"

Over all I can not say it was terrible. It was enjoyable. BUT I never have to do that again. I never have to spend 51 straight hours with her. I counted. It was 1:45 Friday when I showed up at her house and 4:45 Sunday when I finally got in my car and drove the fuck away from her. When I was three houses away I promise to God I actually started yelling I was so happy. It felt like it was never going to end. We woke up at about the same time Sunday, I showered and repacked my stuff. I ordered breakfast while she was showering. We ate. She packed. It was about 10am and she decided we could waste the morning away in the room since the flight left at 1:45. After a while she says we should think about leaving. At this point I am just watching TV since I have been packed and ready to leave since about 8am. She can visibly see my bags are zipped and awaiting to be rolled out. Ten or so minutes later after drinking her third cup of coffee she says it again and I say that I have been ready and waiting on you. "Oh, you have been waiting for me? I have been waiting for you. When I said we needed to leave soon and you just ignored it I thought you were not ready." Not ready? WTF?????? Anyway. Got to the airport and to the terminal with no hassle. Separated. Thank God at the gate. She went to play on the slots and I sat and read. And basically read until we boarded and then read through the flight. The bags took forever to arrive at baggage claim. We were waiting about 25 minutes. I realize now that if I had taken my dad up on his offer to drive me over on Friday he would have had to pick me up at the airport Sunday and this awful weekend would have been over much, much sooner. Live and learn for next time. And of course we got stuck it light traffic on the way home. At this point I have figured out the number of hours we have spent together with no real breaks. These were the breaks. Bathroom breaks, (which include showering), in a few stores we split up while shopping, before leaving the hotel Saturday night I went down ahead of her and had alone time for about 15 minutes and Sunday at the airport while she gambled and I read at the gate. THAT. WAS. IT. I cannot handle togetherness like that with my own family let alone someone I barely like. It was dreadful. I never, ever, ever have to do that again. I know now that I can be strong and voice my true feelings if she ever purposes another trip like this. I was annoyed with her constant talk about people's fashion sense, her complaining that I was walking too fast, (too damn bad), her compelling need to talk about peoples breast sizes, (she was a bit overly involved with that; maybe because hers are ginormous), her continual talk about germs and not wanting to get sick again, (Did I mention I took this trip with someone who just got over having swine flu? No? Well yes I did. Great for me. I secretly was hoping she would be sick longer or more sick than she got so we could cancel the trip and then not rebook.) and I don't know what all else. You name it it was probably bothering me. I have no idea if I annoyed her at all. Don't really care. I most likely did.

The show was fantabulous. There is nothing more to say about it. It was worth every dollar she paid for those tickets. We were about 7 or so rows back. I never counted which is odd for me and right in the center. She is amazing. And everyone always likes to say about people, "For their age..." But age has nothing to do with it. She just is phenomenal. At any age. She has it. The "IT" factor. Okay, a little embarrassed to admit this but yes while she was singing "Wind Beneath My Wings" I actually teared up. I know totally ridiculous. But I felt it. It grabbed me as people like to say. I just wish it was longer. I know 90 minutes is probably tough already but I could have sat there for three hours and thought I was not ready to leave.

“It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.”

-Bette Midler

So over it.

So sick and tired of her obsessive need of keeping germs off her. She is using the TV checkout and starts complaining about the remote being dirty. Says she needs to wash her hands after. It is taking too long for it to finish so she drops the remote on the bed and says I need to wash my hands so you finish. Well if it is soo dirty would I not have to wash my hands after?

The Divine Ms. Boss

Okay. What gives her the right to give out " fashion citations"? Look in the mirror.

The Divine Ms. M

At the show!!!!!

Shopping.

Bored. Macys here is huge. I am done but waiting. Found a dress for the wedding. Three things are wrong with it. Too much. I would have to buy a much bigger size than I wear. This is the third dress from this designer I tried on and I think they run small. Lastly it is beaded all over and I think that might create chaffing. Oh well. to be continued.

First full day.

Had breakfast in the room. Started shopping. Had lunch. Now shopping again. Almost over!!!! way too much. Shopping. Six frickin hours.

Worth the money for the view.

Dinner was good. I have survived the first night. They view is spectacular. Wish me luck for tomorrow.

Pretty damn good food.

Restuarant where wedding reception will be over looking Fremont Street in Downtown Las Vegas.

At the airport. Plane is

At the airport. Plane is delayed. I guess it really doesn't matter. We would be spending this time together anyway. Plane was delayed an hour. They never annouced the delays at all. Three in all.

Off to work I go

I am sure I wrote about this when it first happened earlier in the year. But it has finally come down to today. It is happening. We are on our way to Las Vegas within several hours. I know this should be an exciting time. I get a free, incredible gift. Someone else is paying for the plane, hotel and show tickets and probably the food BUT there is a catch to accepting it all. I have to go with my employer. Some might enjoy this trip. Some might not. I am in that category. Everyone keeps telling me to get over it. You are going to have a great time. And no one understands thats I might have a great time but I dont actually enjoy spending time with her. I might get over my hang ups within a few hours and enjoy it but really? At the end of the day when work is over I like to leave work and spending the weekend with your employer is not leaving work. Sure we probably won't talk about it but we probably will. It is their life. It is their company so of course they talk about it outside of work. I see it coming. "The Talk". Are you happy with your job? True answer. Absolutely not. But there is no way to explain that without being completely honest and that is not going to go over well. I cross my fingers in hopes that it does not come up. Anyway. Nothing I can do now. It is a done deal unless I get deathly ill, get into a car accident or break a body part in the next couple of hours. Any suggestions?

I know I am crazy for this.

There are many a things that annoy me about my employer. This morning started off bad. He continually, even after I have explained the way it works multiple times, still says, "PDF it to me." Does he realize how stupid he sounds? No. Obviously not. Because he is still saying it. He tries to explain to someone on the phone earlier that when they send plans make sure they are too scale because he gets plans that are not and they are of no use to him. He hangs up and ask why PDF files are not too scale. I explain again that "PDF" is a file type not a way of sending something. You email a .pdf. You do not "PDF" something. That anything can be a .pdf not just drawings. They come in all sizes and forms. That when they are not to scale they were created that way in order, probably, to make them smaller and easier to send by email. Then he complains that I am speaking to him like a child and I should not get so worked up over it. I explain again that I have told him over and over .pdf is a file type that you email. You do not "PDF" someone something. He says to me that it is the important things that he remebers, my ass, that is what matters and he will ask again next week. Basically your time means nothing to me and I will do want I want.

What is the definition of insanity? I am never going to get over it. I know I define it because I get locked in the same thing and can not get past. I fail at being the better person. I don't care. It is driving me crazy. He thinks this is funny. He says, and he tells no one because no one knows that he does not actually know how to use the computer, does not type his own estimates or emails and can not read his own emails, that I am his computer interface. Funny, right?